Does This Take Make Me Look Fat?

Call me square or quadrilateral if you must, but don’t call me round.  No, I’m not oval either!  While I have been known to bulge from time to time I am certainly not fat!  Just the mention that I am oversized causes a shiver down my axis.


Every day, me and my friends of similar geometric shape begin journeys that bring happiness to the lives of real people located around the world.   To say that we are just another box would be like me saying Chuck Norris is just another man.  And yet at the end of our journey, we are disposed of without any regard for the efforts that we have made.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not bitter.  I’m just a little miffed by what I believe to be a complete lack of appreciation.


To better prove my point, let me tell you a little more about what it is I do.  Most mornings, I’m just laying flat at home (you would call it a packing station).  Some person working at incredible speed rips me out of my slumber, pops me open and runs tape down one of my seams.  They then stuff me with packing materials – packing peanuts, packing paper, bubble wrap and/or air pillows.  They add in some product and again fill me with the packing materials before folding my flaps and taping me shut.  I’m then taken to a shipping station where I receive my assignment.  Nobody ever takes into consideration that I’m a warm weather box as they assign me to a remote village in Alaska.  Just once I would love the assignment of Hawaii.  Heck, I’d even settle for a nice trip to Europe or Asia, but that would be too much to ask – wouldn’t it?


After my assignment, I get placed onto a truck where my journey gets really interesting.  I’m tossed and turned.  I’m pushed and shoved.  Those conveyors and sorters put pressure on my edges and sides, but I fight back.  I have been entrusted with a product.  My stamina and endurance, while tested and pushed to the limit, will not be broken.  After another trip on a truck (why couldn’t they have sprung for the plane?) I arrive at another sort facility.  As if one attempt at destroying me wasn’t enough!  Again, I am tossed and turned, shifted and shoved.  Finally, I am placed on a truck with my final destination in sight.


They deliver me to a very happy person.  Of course, they are not happy to see me, but the valuable cargo that I was entrusted with.  Without any consideration for my efforts, I’m ripped open and then tossed into the trash.


Do they not realize the efforts that I made?  Do they not realize the battle that I undertook?  If they only knew they would have placed me on the pedestal that is reserved for Lindsey Lohan, The Kardashians and Donald Trump’s hair.  I’m the celebrity!!!  Why can’t you see it?  I belong on the mantle above the fire place – right next to Billy’s diploma, the photo of Mom making it to the top of Mount Everest and Great Granddad’s Nobel Peace Prize.  I deserve a ticker tape parade and a monument erected in my honor.


So maybe I am bitter, but stop calling me fat!  Yes, I have a mid waist bulge from time to time, but you would to if your efforts were not appreciated.





This is a guest column by Cube.  His submission lead to a new assignment.  We are proud to announce that Cube is delivering important supplies to scientists studying the effects of extreme temperatures on corrugated material in Antartica.

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